*The Quon was a cleric who also had a humorous series going on about a high elf cleric of Tunare who had a high libido with extreme arrogance.*
wow ok
i don reely know how to tell this story becasue it is so bizare
ok so liek its sunday morning and i siting on the couch waching cartons and eating ice cream but im still kind of groggy from al the good sleep ive been geting sence dr. henderson told me it was time to take a break from eq
so im siting there singing along with the transfomers theme song when the phon rings
so i anwser it and im liek 'ya'
but theres no talk just this hevy brething on the line and im liek 'ok fag ur not funny hello'
and so this super creepy guy voise is liek 'is this skater gnome'
so i get a litle freeked out so im liek 'uhh no, this is skater dome, with a d, u must hav teh rong number'
*click*
so i call j-mo and im liek 'fag did u jus call me?'
and hes liek 'WHO IS THIS'
and im like 'is me@!' and hes liek 'skater??' an im like 'umm ya tard who did u thik it was??'
and hes 'ohhh good ok i got a reel creepy call liek 10 min ago'
and im liek 'omg me too!!1'
and then were both liek 'wtf' at the same tiem which was so funy and we laughed but then got serius again cause we were pretty scare
so j-mos like 'im coming over'
and im liek 'ok cool ill practis my nija kicks while i wait'
and hes liek 'just dont hurt ur self remeber u r not a reel monk'
and im like 'whatever man'
someday theyll see i reely am
so i hang up and practise thunderus kick to the beat with the tranformer music all arond the living room
so the dore bell ring an im liek 'dude u dont have to nock just come in'
so the door opens and...
it wasnt j-mo
instad it is this dude that looks liek he should be a boss mob in Everquest Gay Edition
its this midle age looking guy and hes wearing leather pants waty too tight and this old torn leapord skin coat that caked with dirt and mud and hes all scruffy and hunched over and his eye and neck is twitching and his bare stomack hanging is out over his belt
so he starts hobling in to the living room on clear platform shoes with dead goldfish floting insid them but the heel is missing on one so hes not moving vary fas
so all of the suden he stops and hes liek 'r u skater gnome??' and its the same creepy voic from the telephone
so im a little shaky and l and i try to yeel out 'u have ruined ur own lands u will not ruim mine!' but all that comes out is a wimper
needliss to say i was way to scareed to try thunderus kick and i started to wonder if maybe dr henderson was rite about me not being a monk after all
so then this guy is liek 'THE QUON HAS AXED U A QUESTION ANSWER THE QUON NOW' and he starts twitching reely bad again
WTF
so im liek 'dude why r u here'
and hes like 'the quon is here to demand that u quit riting skater stories'
and im liek 'wtf who the hell in the quon??'
and he like 'the quon is a eq humorist and mofo badass. but fur some reson not enogh ppl like me so the quon is here to make u quit riting so ur fans forget u and liek me insted'
i think he was drunk cause at that part he almost stumbled an fell over
so im like 'omg dude wtf have u evar stoped to think that this doesnt have to be a contest?? u dont need to attaak ur peers just to feel good abot ur own work. u will get much more enjoymint if you stop riting stoies just to try to feel good abot urself and make people leik u, and start riting stories becuse its fun to share with others'
at this point i see j-mo sneeking up the porch behind drunk flaming homless prostatute guy with his skate bored raise over his head
but i give j-mo the eye and shake my head cause this guy reely seems more pathetic than harmful and j-mo relaxs and stand behind him quietly
so now "the qoun" is looking all confused and hes like 'the quon doesnt understad do u mean it is posible to feel good about myself witout pretending to get laid all the tiem and talking lots of s**t and tearing other ppl down??'
and im like 'yes yes it is. it is also posible to refer to urself in the first persin from time to tim u should try it is reely fun'
so he smiles ceepily and hes liek 'thanks skater u r a great guy. and very handsom too i might add what r u doing friday at 8?'
WTF?
so i give j-mo the eye again and this tiem gave him the nodding head cause im just not gonna tolarate that
so j-mo clobers him hard with his bored and we dragged him out to the street wich was hard to do cause he smelled a lot like poo
then we go back inside and j-mo is liek 'skater ur very smart phycologocally'
and im liek 'thansk ive been lerning alot from my sesions with dr henderson'
and hes like 'do u thik u helped that guy find a way to be happy?'
and im liek 'i hope so j-mo. i sure do hope so.'
Skater Gnome Stories
By Skater Gnome