Overview[]
Skater Gnome Stories (Sk8er Gnome) was a set of humorous/meme stories inspired by a newbie player's adventures in EverQuest. Most were written in tongue-in-cheek "gamer speak" language. Credit to Kainzo on the Project 1999 Forums for preserving this particular story.
Story[]
BRAVE BRAVE ME, by Skater Gnome
August 6, 2002
well i did it again. i ran over to commons west side (the scary side) to try to hunt some things anyway im running around getting losk and i see this guy named dervish walking slow
so i run up to him and hail him and he ignores me but im used to that here in commons west. so he keeps walking an i keep hailing him but still getting ignored
so im like 'dude i was going to help you and tell you how to turn on run so you can get places faster but now i wont, haha'
and he STILL ignores me.
so i say 'dude you think your tough but i fought 4 lvl 59s yesterday and lived'
well now im mad cause hes ignoring me and keeps walking but i see hes wearing no gear and im going to teach him a lesson
so i attack him and i cant hit him that hard but he sure is beating me up fast and suddenly like 10 of his friends all run out to help him
but check this out. suddenly i see their exploiting cause ALL OF THEM ARE NAEMED THE SAME THING
so im shouting 'dervish your a cheater you expoiter!!'
and now im almost dead and suddenly im at full health and i turn around and its this elf guy behind me and he says 'need some help?'
finally someones talking to me so i tell him that he can run faster by clicking the "WALK" button at the bottom of the screen.
and hes like 'huh?'
and i said 'i tried to tell dervish but that punk wouldn't listen'
well wouldnt you believe it the elf guy starts to do speels on me too, just like the meen ppl from yesterday
and elfguy says 'you better run'
and i say 'im not scared of you'
and he says 'huh?'
and i say 'im a lvl 5 monk, haha, whats up now? YOU better run'
and he just stands there
and then he says 'n00b' and leaves.
and i shout at him WTF is a n00b im a MONK ARE YOU DEAF!!>??
and this dervish guys is beating me up bad now that elf guy left so i run and and im faster and dervish is following me with his band of cheaters. well i see another group killing some stuff, so i run over there and say 'hey wanna help me kill some exploiters?'
and then dervish run up to me with his dirty no good friends and kills me quick
so i died come back in freeport east and suddenly im getting all these tells
sakan tells you 'dude thanks for the train, n00b'
OMG WTF???
so im like 'sakan wtf are you dumb this is fantasy, no trains in EQ'
then..
critol tells me 'you are a total n00b dude'
WTF??
so now im wondering if n00b is like a nice name for a monk, or something cause i hear it alot.
anyway im staying awayt frum common west side forever unless nicer people play there
laterz