Overview[]
Skater Gnome Stories (Sk8er Gnome) was a set of humorous/meme stories inspired by a newbie player's adventures in EverQuest. Most were written in tongue-in-cheek "gamer speak" language. Credit to Kainzo on the Project 1999 Forums for preserving this particular story.
Story[]
"A Turn for the Worse" by Skater Gnome
ok like camp is reely cool and whatever but yesterday it got
reely suc
ok so like im standing on the dock at the lake cause im next
in line to ride the water weenie
so im standing there and all of the suddin i get shoved in the
back and go flying off the dock and into the water
WTF??!?!!
so like my swiming is suck so im doing doggie paddel back to
dock and i heer lots of laffing coming from everyone on the
dock and im getting reely angrey!
so im clikmbing back up the dock and im like 'omg dude ur so
dead' but when i get up to the top i see the freakin huge kid
there scowling at me ready to attack
and im like 'omg dude i thought this camp was for 13 to 15 not
30yr olds'
and hes like 'u wanna peace of me???'
and im thinking 'hell no' but i say 'oh ya i want the whole
enchallada'
i dont even liek enchaladas
so im getting a little scared now and im looking around for
the zone line out of instinct or whatever but the only
safespot i can see is up the hill at the cafe where the
couseliers are but thats a long way away
so im thinking about trying feign death but we all know how
that turned out last tiem
so its just him and me at the end of the docks and hes like
lumbering toward me with his swimming flippers and facemask on
holding a snorkel in his hand liek hes gonna hit me with it
and everyone is watchin
so im standing there wondering what it will feel like to be
killed with a snorkel when i see j-mo pushing through the crowd
and hes got something in his hands and he rolls it toard me
through giganto-kids legs and its my skaterboard
and j-mos like 'two hand blunt'
and he give me the thumbs up
so i pick up my board and im gettin all fired up and breathing
hard and im scream 'feel the power of quellious b1tch'
and j-mos like 'yaulp 2! good one!'
so i charge and im swinging my board with sweet ninja action
but mammoth-boy just knocks it out of my hands and grabs me
and picks me up
and im like 'omg dude wtf put me down ur so gay'
and so he walks to the edge of the dock and starts to throw me
in again (dammit)
so im starting to fall and i reach out for anything i can grab
on to and i gget a hold on his mask
well i could only hold on to it for about the first two feet
of my fall and then i had to let go before i went splash
well i guess the face mask went flying right back into his
nose or something cause buy the tiem i doggie paddeled back to
the dock he was lying on his back with a bloody nose and the
nurse was stunding over him saying 'jonny can you heer me'
and j-mos like 'dude sweet kill!'
and im like 'ya im the rulest' and i never told anyone that i
so i was thinkin about looting the body but i decided that
prolly not appropriate
so anyway i got in alot of trouble and they punished me by
making me stay in the cabin for the rest of the day
i never did get to ride the water weenie but i guess thats ok
...